Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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