This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
