ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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