he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
