Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
