Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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