i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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