So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
