We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
