I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Randomize