I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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