dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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