Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
