Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
