I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My dick has a subreddit
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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