Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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