She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
