Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
