I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
