he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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