just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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