i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
