i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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