Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm too high and old for this...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
