There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
