Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
