I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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