Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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