wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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