are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
