we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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