It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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