Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
