I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
