Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
