I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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