I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
