Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
