I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
