I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize