Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton

(1-770): View more from Georgia

i said paris hilton

(770): View more from Georgia

thats even worse

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(404): View more from Georgia

Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.

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(817): View more from Texas

He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house

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(503): View more from Oregon

Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.

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(616): View more from Michigan

at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n

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(505): View more from New Mexico

She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.

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(530): View more from California

You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?

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