break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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