Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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