I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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