My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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