Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
