Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
