Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
