you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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