SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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