You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
