your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
