The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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