I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The best revenge is premature balding
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
