well you can't waste a boner
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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