the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
