just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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