this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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