Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
