just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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