i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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