I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
