My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
A+ Viking dick
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Congratulations! We have a period
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
