No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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